InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Spam is evil. Really."

It's officially less than a month before our first studio album is going to be released. I wish I could say we're all thrilled, but right now I think most of us are too exhausted, for one reason or another, to be excited. Depressing, isn't it?

We all live together, in this shitty apartment in Roanoke, far enough from the airport that things don't rattle every time a plane lands, but close enough that the noise is still frustrating. Well, as much noise as a six gate airport can create. I'm regularly amazed at how many flights go in and out from here, considering the size of the airport. I guess, if I were to make a sexual comparison, it should be giving me hope. If small airports can have lots of traffic, shouldn't any guy with a bit of effort be able to get laid?

I was going somewhere with that, before I got sidetracked. We, as a band, all live together. We hang out at the local Wal-Mart and IHOP, hitting on the desperate chicks from the local all-women's college. We go to Mulligan's Sports Bar every other night or so, since it's close enough to stumble home from and we don't have to worry about the cops getting on our asses. We do pretty much everything with each other, just like we did back in high school when the band first got together, and it it's worse, now, because we live together, and we smell together, and we have pissing contests (literal and not) together. But TJ's handling the upcoming album the best, if by best you mean level of excitement. Every morning he shoves coffee and cigarettes at us and tells us how great it's going to be to finally have this released. I've been trying to match his enthusiasm, but I cut back on drinking for Lent and I just can't get as soused on four beers as I used to.

To go off on another tangent, I love infomercials. This guy just chucked a tomato at a knife and now appears to be hacking away at the table he's doing his demonstration on. He's like the bastard child of Emeril and Edward Scissorhands. It's kind of freaking me out and making me want to dig for my wallet all at the same time.

Back on track. Like I said, TJ's doing good. I kind of expect it from him, he's a drummer and I've yet to meet a completely mellow drummer. The rest of us tend to be locked out of our own heads too much to really focus enough to get excited, but he's all about it. He's been doing sketches for prospective band t-shirts and refuses to listen when we remind him that we might not make it big enough to need merch. According to TJ, every band needs merch. With merch, you'll seem like a big enough band to want to spend money on. Also according to TJ, though, I'm the face of this band. They want to make it big but they don't want to be in the public eye. I don't know how that made me the sacrificial lamb, but I'm kind of annoyed about it. I'd scare people away. Trust me. I did a signing once two years ago, for one of my novels, and this sweet middle-aged woman took one look at me and went white as a sheet. Apparently it's one thing to know the writer behind one of your favorite bodice rippers is a male, and another to be confronted by his maleness in person. I love how, because of euphemisms in romance novels, that makes it sound like I was sitting there with my dick out while signing books. When I do signings for Tempting it'll either be a ghost town, or there'll be a lot of creepy people hanging out trying to catch a peek.

Christ. I keep getting distracted. This isn't a good way to open this blog but I guess it's better than nothing. If we put any more thought into it we'd never get it going. The fact that it took us this long to get our album out there is proof of that. Would you believe we've been working on most of these songs since high school? High school was a really fucking long time ago, guys. That's not right. So to make sure this got going, Chris plied me with my allotment of beers, gave me a fresh pack of cigarettes, and gave my head a shake. None of them really believe me when I say the creative juices aren't flowing, but these are also the guys who think if you hit a piece of electronics just right, it'll stop flashing or making weird noises at them. It's like watching a group of cave men trying to stomp on a mouse when they're messing with fax machines.

I'm really not sure if this had a point, other than to introduce you to how not-rockstar-ish we are. TJ's glaring at me and says I'm supposed to be getting people to come listen to us, not frighten them off. He has no sense of humor. But he does have a bit of a point. We're going to play sometime soon, in the Virginia Beach area and then in Richmond. Possibly DC, if we can get the venue spot in time. All of them will be just before the album releases, so keep an eye out here for dates or things like that. If I don't get around to it, TJ will. He's the responsible one, both band-wise and not, since he just stole my wallet. I don't see why me owning these freakishly sharp knives is such a bad thing.

4:41 AM - ADD A COMMENT